You Are My Lifeline
by Nienna100
Summary: It's hard constructing a lifeline when you are Death Eater convicted of murder. But our greasyhaired friend is very smart. Ending is the best bit. OneShot. Complete dur


The man stands, gazing over the sweeping, emerald lawns, the glistening azure lake, and the dark shadow of the forest. It is odd, that he never noticed the beauty before, and now is time is limited. It all seems too unreal. A congregation of people mourn the loss of a great man, honoured by his students, his staff and the wide wizarding world.

It seems incredible to the man, that he would be present at this funeral, the funeral of the man who had saved the world from destruction, the constant source of good that held Hogwarts together.

Leaning over the ramparts, straining to hear the speech, he feels tears slide from his eyes; he wishes he could be down there, honouring a great life, instead of up here away from the crowds. The crowds that would as easily look at him as kill him. It is ironic that the people he works so hard to protect would all feel hatred for him, when he risks his life for them every day. But the people he always strove to look after, because he cared for them, always detested him. It is his curse.

He looks up at the Astronomy Tower, to his right, looming over him and casting him in shadow. Doomed to darkness for his own safety, for the rest of his life. The shadow makes no difference now.

Memories assail him, bringing with them emotions that he usually fights so hard to keep under wraps.

Pain; his mother dying in his arms, beaten so badly, fury; his father abusing his mother, then turning to him, shame; unable to fly on a broom, naked in front of James Potter and his gang. Now power; ending a life with the snap of his fingers, relief; the kind redemption from Dumbledore welcoming him with wide arms, fear' leading that double life. All of a sudden freedom; Voldemort was gone and he was safe, intrigue; a pupil as studious as himself, self-hatred; bullying that Gryffindor to keep up appearances. Desire; her hunger for knowledge, the warped attraction, the forbidden lust.

He shivers, he awakes from his reprieve. The sun has gone down and the crowds are back inside. He finds tears have streamed down his face, the salty tightness brings more weeping, a strange release.

A white tomb stands, the man nods, the perfect resting place for his mentor

"Prof-Professor?"

/2i He whirls around, hand flying to his wand. Hermione is standing there, looking pale. She trembles uncertainly. She turns around partly as if to leave, and turns back to the man.

"Professor why?" she asks haltingly, she stares at his haunted, drawn face, tearstained, "You killed him. Why?"

He answers without thinking "Not that it is any of you business Miss Granger, but I had to" He kicks himself mentally, why does she always bring out the worst in him?

She blushes but states more strongly, "It is my business, he was our leader and our defender. And you, Professor Snape, killed him"

"I thank you for your subtly Miss Granger, and I don't think I count much as a Professor any more" he says dryly

She smiles a small smile, "I guess not. But you're avoiding my question"

"You have always been too stubborn for your own good Granger" he sighs, knowing that she could run for a teacher at any moment, or curse him herself. She certainly has the ability, Snape rattles off "Dumbledore was dying, there was poison from the ring that was slowly killing him. I would have been killed if I didn't kill. I made an Unbreakable Vow, I don't know. It all seems to have gotten completely out of control. He died to save my own skin that I don't even deserve"

"That's awful"

"You're telling me" he says bitterly, "It bites at me constantly. I caused his death, he could have lived for another five months"

Hermione steps forwards hesitantly, as Snape stiffens, then relaxes as she lays a hand on his shoulder

"You say he was dying anyway?"

A nod

"Then it wasn't your fault at all. It was inevitable"

He sags onto a stone bench, satisfied that she is willing to listen, "I just remember praying that it hadn't worked. But even if it had failed, the fall" he gestures at the Astronomy Tower

Hermione has a strange look of triumph on her features, "I always defended you, they thought I was mad, but there's something about you that can't be evil. Not purely. Deep down, I knew there was good"

A humorous smile graces his face, "Deep deep down Hermione. Buried under all the evil I cannot undo"

"I know, but we couldn't have got anywhere at all without you sir. You help was invaluable. I think you must have made up for some of your wrongs"

"I shall spend lifetimes paying for the lives I've taken. That much I know, but I thank you for your sentiments Miss Granger"

"They say fro a few minutes in silence, contemplating their own thoughts quietly.

Snape coloured in the gathering darkness, as his stomach growls. Jumping to her feet, Hermione says "Wait here" and leaves her former teacher.

Snape shrugs, releases a lot of tension in his shoulders, and waits. He has no other choice.

Time passes, and Hermione appears on the parapet. She looks around but she cannot see anyone

"Severus?"

A shadow towers over her suddenly and snatches at her shoulders, whirling her around.

Her pale face is startled, until her eyes widen again at the want in her face, "Professor?"

"My apologies Miss Granger, I don't dare take risks in this place"

Shaken she presents the tray she is carrying to the man, "I brought you food. You look like you could do with a square meal"

"Thank you" he comments dryly, but starts to devour the offering hungrily

Hermione watches him, and his movements turn awkward under her gaze. He puts down his bread.

"What makes you willing to trust me?" he asks, knowing he's repeating himself "I'm determined to make sure. For all I know, I am surrounded by a hundred Aurors in Invisibility Cloaks"

"Just a feeling. There's always been something that made me defend you, but I can't put a name to it. There were… points when I didn't trust you, when Ron and Harry won me round. But feelings for, sorry about you always arrived with my common sense"

"What's the time?"

Hermione is startled by this out-of-the-blue query "Erm, eight forty five"

"I have fifteen minutes before I can leave"

"Are you… where will you… so soon… but I…" she stutters, completely thrown off

"Please Miss Granger, think about and clarify your words"

"Professor, I guess that… this will be the last time I see"

"Correct Miss Granger, it will. And" he inhales deeply "And as it is I have to admit that I have admired your scholarly attitude for a long time" his talking fast now "I am sure you will do well whatever career you choose"

"Thank you"

A moments silence

"How is young Ronald?" Snape asks

"Urgh, he seems to think we're soul mates, but I know we're not. I can't… I can't love him. I'm in love with someone else"

"Who?" he is unprofessionally curious

She raises teary brown eyes, "You"

Snape recoils and thuds into the wall "What?"

Hermione stands up and squeaks, "I have to go"

She scampers to the stairs quickly, but Snape grabs at her trailing sleeve

"Wait"

Tears are falling fast from the chocolate eyes

"This is the last time we'll see each other. I have a confession to make too. I'm not sure if it's love or an obsession, but I have feelings for you too"

Hermione stares at the sincerity in the black eyes, "You do" It is not a question, but a statement of fact

They stand and stare

Snape sweeps her up in a fast, passionate and fiery kiss. Hermione squeaks and pulls away

"Professor!"

"Severus, please"

"Severus, are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Good. Now kiss me again"

He did, with the same hot lust that rose desire both this time and last, and Hermione almost swooned in his strong arms. His searching tongue grazes her teeth and fights with her own tongue, making her moan with desire. She shivers.

Five minutes after the start of the fervent embrace, the student and teacher pull away simultaneously

"I have to go" Hermione says, flushed. She scampers away from the former Potions Master, and disappears down a well-lit corridor

I exhale, as Snape spits on the floor. I emerge from the shadows, whipping of the Invisibility Cloak

"Disgusting Mudblood" he growls

"She swallowed it though. Perfect mixture of hesitancy and outrightedness there" I laugh

"She'll be our lifeline. The Dark Lord was right"

"The Dark Lord is always right Severus"

"Always Bella" he concedes

I cringe, the Dark Mark burns on my arm. Severus compulsively moves his hand to his own arm

"The Dark Lord calls"

"Me too. Quick under here. Lets go"

We run through Hogwarts, under the cloak. To our Master


End file.
